5. My Inability to Stay on Track

As you may have noticed, I have a bit of a focusing issue. Or a bit of a laziness issue. Either way, I don't do nearly as much work as I should, or can. Just take a look at this blog. I'm so behind on posts it's ridiculous. It's not as if this work is particularly difficult. On the contrary, we're given the freedom to write about anything we want. And I still choose not to do it.
But I don't set out to simply ignore my studies. I don't wake up in the morning thinking, "I'm going to ignore all my philosophy homework today." It just happens. I get distracted, or overwhelmed, and I just don't do the work. It's stupid, really.
I started wondering whether it was more than pure laziness. Maybe I actually have some psychological problem that keeps me off track, out of focus.
There are a number of psychological "illnesses" that can result in distractedness, including--but not limited to--ADD, an anxiety disorder, depression, or just a sleep disorder. Come along, as we delve into my inner psyche and I analyze myself (in hindsight, this doesn't sound like a particularly good idea).

Attention Defecit Disorder (ADD)

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The most obvious (or, at least, the most suspected) psychological disorder for inattention is ADD, characterized by inattention, easy distractability (according to Wikipedia, "distractibility" is, in fact, a word), disorganization, procrastination, and forgetfulness. In short, everything I am. Most people think that those with ADD must be hyperactive, but it can also be identified in people who are constantly in a state of fatigue. Lethargy is a more fitting description of my energy levels than hyperactive. Basically, this one really could fit. However, no one believes me when I tell them that I think I have ADD. Maybe it's because I'm trying to fit myself to the symptoms instead of finding symptoms that fit me. Either way, it's a strong suspect.


Anxiety Disorder
There are many types of specific anxiety disorders people suffer from. The general term "anxiety disorder," though, is classified as a disorder involving excessive worrying, uneasiness, apprehension, and fear about future uncertainties. An anxiety disorder, obviously, is when you're anxious all the time. It can result in many different behaviors including but not limited to: panic attacks, irrational phobias, avoidance of social interaction, heightened awareness, and disturbed concentration. I'm fortunate enough that only the last possibility really affects me on a daily basis. So, if I have an anxiety disorder, it's most likely a mild, general one.

Depression
Next on the list comes depression, one of the most well-known psychological disorders out there. It seems as if everything is linked to depression these days, and the cure is as easy as calling a toll-free number! Yes, we've all seen those commercials with the typical dreary-seeming person staring moodily out the window. And that it one form of depression. But by no means is it the only way depression can manifest in a human being. First of all, there are several types of depression. Post-partum depression is easy to rule out, since I've never been pregnant. Other sorts of depression include Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD--ironic, isn't it?), melancholic depression, and bipolar disorder. I know for a fact that I'm not bipolar, no matter how moody I can get sometimes. Bipolar is characterized by extreme highs and lows, and I never have extremely high moods. SAD is when you experience depressive symptoms at one particular time of year, and are of sound mental health all other times of year. If you count the school year as a season, then yes, I have Season Affective Disorder. But so does every teenager, in that case. Melancholic depression is a loss of pleasure in activities you once found fun/entertaining. I can still laugh at tv shows and enjoy chocolate cake, so I don't think I'm particularly melancholy. Even though it's all in your mind and not a physical illness, depression can hinder your ability to do things just as a broken leg or terminal disease can. It's an uncontrollable imbalance of chemicals in the human body, just like a disease is an uncontrollable invasion of germs in your body.

Insomnia
Everyone knows what insomnia is. It's a sleep problem. How could that ever affect my school performance? If I'm having issues getting my homework done, shouldn't I have more time to do it if I can't sleep? Believe it or not, it makes it even more difficult, in my opinion. Insomnia can be a psychological problem in itself, or a side effect of another disorder. It can mean not being able to sleep, constantly waking up in your sleep, or sleeping and still waking up tired. Either way, you're exhausted when it's time to start your day. So, one night you can't get any effective sleep. The next day, you're pretty much ineffective because you didn't get all the sleep you need. It's difficult to do school work or homework because you lack the energy to focus. Then, you figure you'll go to bed early to try to fix it for the next day (or you stay up all night slowly getting all your work done). But, your insomnia won't let you sleep. You don't want to get up and do anything because it would destroy any progress you made towards unconsciousness. So, you're stuck. You can't sleep, and you can't do work. It becomes a vicious cycle, with your school work and your sleeping pattern slowly deteriorating with each restless night. Insomnia, I think, is one of the worst disorders that isn't exactly life-altering. It isn't as serious as major depression or bipolar disorder, but it still has a very negative effect on your daily life.

Wanna learn more? Here's some wonderful Wikipedian information for you:
Could I possible have ADD?
What even is an anxiety disorder?
Depression is just sadness. Get over it already!
Why don't you just do your homework if you aren't sleeping anyways?

*I actually have a mood disorder (technically a DD-NOS, Depressive Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) and primary insomnia. Really, I was diagnosed. So this was really more of a hypochondriatic self-analysis*